Government Shutdown

Floor Speech

Mr. ISRAEL. Mr. Speaker, I rise today on the sixteenth day of the federal government shutdown to submit for the record a satire sent to me by my constituent, Donna Rusinski of Huntington New York. Donna's satire perfectly portrays the current state of affairs in our nation's capital and I am pleased I can share her short story with you today.

So, imagine that the company you work for held a poll, and asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back, and the majority of your colleagues said ``Yes,'' indicating that they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the majority said yes. So, a week later, there's a soda machine.

Now imagine that Bill in accounting voted against the soda machine. He has a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, thinks they are bad for you, whatever. He campaigns throughout the office to get the machine removed.

Well, management decides ``OK, we'll ask again'' and again, the majority of people say ``Yes, let's keep the soda machine.''

Bill continues to campaign, and management continues to ask the employees, and every time, the answer is in favor of the soda machine. This happens, let's say 35 times. Eventually, Bill says ``OK, I'm not processing payroll anymore until the soday machine is removed,'' so nobody will get paid unless management removes the machine.

What should we do?

Answer: Fire Bill and get someone who will do the darn job.

Bonus: Bill tells everyone that he was willing to ``Negotiate,'' to come to a solution where everyone got their payroll checks, but only so long as that negotiation capitulated to his demand to remove the soda machine.

Bill is a dope.

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