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Tri-City Herald - Wanted: Translator for Candidate Interview

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I was scheduled to call Ellensburg Republican and perenial candidate Gordon Allen Pross this morning to discuss his campaign for the U.S. House. But instead I got an e-mail telling me (I think) that he had to cancel.

It's probably just as well because, based on the e-mail, it's clear I may have needed a translator anyhow.

Here's the e-mail.

"Sir Christopher,

I regret to inform you that our 10:15 landline pass will have to be overrode in abeyance or terminated. Due to my position as an Ordained Presby Deacon serving this morning to bring an elderly citizen to their physician.

The most relevant issue for my attendance is as an interpreter to convey two recent stays in the hospital. (As an elocutionist): emergent issues to peruse over charts so nothing, so nothing is lost in semantic translation from misguided locutionary, prelocutionary, illocutionary utterances, nuance, inflection, gesture and the Holy like.

GORDONATOR

Glory is not a destination it is a adventure...

I'll try to wheel my water buffalo shoe horn out to squeeze you in to a space so humanity may have an opportunity to see what side of Glory Chris Mulkin is on..."

BLOGGER'S NOTE: If by "Chris Mulkin" Pross, or the Gordonator, means "Chris Mulick" then giddyup. I'm curious to see what side of glory I'm on, too.


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