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Jonathon's Announcement Speech

Location: Unknown

Greetings My Fellow Americans and Media,

You know me as the Sanguinary Satanic Vampyre and Hecate
Witch who on Friday the 13th of January this year announced my
candidacy for Governor of Minnesota.

Though I fully sought and desired to help the people of Minnesota
as their Governor, an evil from my past, even more evil that I am
and can ever be, attacked me. This ended my quest for Governor.

In the world today, there are many evil people. Most are wolves in
Christian Sheep clothing. The biggest is sitting in The Oval Office.
King George "Worthless" Bush as I call him. He is in my eyes the
main reason for the tragedy that occurred here on 9-11. Unlike
when Ronald Reagan was President, our enemies don't fear
America or the President.

Our country is no longer looked upon with admiration, but as a
joke. Why is our great country a joke?

Because the 3 presidents since Reagan, have been either;
spineless, greedy, skirt chasing, and not to mention; lying
hypocrites of their oaths of office.

A prime example of this; is recently when Venezuela President
Chavez while speaking at the UN mocked Bush, by calling him "the
Devil." Personally, I consider calling Bush the devil an insult
upon my God. Chavez also went on to belittle our country. I
challenge Chavez the next time he comes to America, to belittle my
country in front of me. If he does, Chavez better have plenty of
good doctors around, to put him back together again.

And now we have Mexico's President wanting to have Duane "The
Dog" Chapman extradited back to Mexico to be imprisoned for
capturing convicted rapist Andrew Lester in their land, who was
avoiding justice in America for his atrocities against women.

Mexico listen up! If you take the American "Dog" and imprison him,
immediately upon becoming President I will order US Bombers to
drop Hades' Bombs upon specific targets in Mexico City, and while
you're attending to your city after I leveled it, I will have the US
Army Special Forces break into the prison where "Dog" is being
held captive, and bring him back home to America.

At the same time, my elite military group; The "Presidential Death
Dealers" capture your President and bring him to me at The White
House, where for the world to see, I will brutally torture, then
Impale him.

No foreign country will ever hold an innocent American hostage
or prisoner while I'm President. If they do, I will level their
country, free the American, and Impale their President for his or
her actions against my fellow American.

Not since the late and great President Ronald Reagan has this
country been respected and feared worldwide.

The time for a change now. Like our Founding Fathers did on the
4th of July 1776, Americans need to Declare their Independence
from the tyranny we are ALL suffering from.

The headlines are filled with stories of corrupt politicians,
judges and law enforcement. Not to mention, how crime is at an
all time high, and how we live in fear of attacks from terrorists
and criminals everyday.

My fellow Americans, the time to end these tyrannies, and live
again without fear of attacks is NOW.

Today is the beginning of a new hope for America's future.

On 13 Sept 05 I filed my Statement of Candidacy for the
Presidency with the Federal Election Commission. Today, I stand
before you and make that statement a reality.

Unlike the 3 Presidents since Reagan, I will not bring shame to, or
make America look weak. If anything, I will instill fear into
criminals, our enemies, and especially terrorists - both foreign
and domestic.

Terrorism and crime are a cancer upon American society that
needs to be eradicated. This is my instrument to eradicate this
cancer and allow innocent Americans like yourselves, to once
again live without fear of being attacked.

Additionally, unlike our previous 3 presidents I will not be sueded
by "Big Business" nor political party back room politics when it
comes to Governing this country. I am here to serve you and all
Americans. I will bring peace into your lives.

My Magikal Path name is; Lord Ares - The Greek God of War. Like
Clinton and the two Bush Presidents, I will bring war. However,
unlike them, I will not send innocent Americans to their deaths.

On day one of my Presidency, I will unleash Hades' Fire upon
terrorism and those who support them. I will level Mecca to the
ground. My first order as President I will order all our service
women and men out of Iraq. As the last US Air Transporter is
leaving Iraq airspace, bombers armed with Hades' Bombs will
begin a bombing campaign destroying the places where we know
the al-Qaeda, insurgence and other terrorist groups who are a
threat to us and future generations of Americans. This especially
includes Mecca.

Though innocent people who may not support bin Laden and his
beliefs will be killed, I feel it is a necessary sacrifice. I sooner
kill innocent people in countries that support or hide terrorists,
then allow another innocent American to be killed.

Besides foreign terrorists, Americans are threaten daily by
domestic terrorism as well. Groups like: the Ku Klux Klan, the
Church of Satan, and the Nation of Islam all spread messages of
hate, just like bin Laden. Upon becoming President I will have my
Death Dealers hunt these terrorists down, and bring them to me,
to face justice. I will then IMPALED!

I will quickly dispose of those who spread hate trash, and end the
stinking smell of hatred that is choking us ALL.

Every American has a constitutional right to belief and live as
they want. However, no American has a right to spread hatred
against another American. Nor does any American have a right to
say what a couple in love can and can't do.

What am I talking about? Gay and Lesbian relationships. Under my
Presidency; Gays, Lesbians and Transgenders will have no better
friend in The White House than me.

The US Constitution does not state that same sex couples can't
marry. Hence as President and an Ordained Dark Priest, I will
marry them. Then let me see a state tell them their marriage is
null and void. If a state official does, I will IMPALE them for it!

States represent government, that is not always for the
American citizens that reside there. Hence, I will change the name
of this Country to The Nation of United Americans. In the last
couple of decades this nation has become divided. Under me,
Americans will unite. As the saying goes; "United we stand. Divided
we fall." The time has come for us to stop falling in a negative
spiral, and start reaching for the stars, along with making the
American Dream a reality.

There have been postings on the Net, in which some have called me
the "Anti-Christ." Well, I am against Christian hypocrites, like King
George and his Christian Right wing cronies. I am against
Professional Christians - who preach one thing, but do another.
So, I guess for lack of a better word, I am the "Anti-Christ." But,
unlike certain former Christian Presidents, especially the
present President, I will not only fight, but I am willing to die to
protect every American, and their rights.

My home state of New Jersey is known as the Crossroads of the
American Revolution. Today, this proud Jersian declares in 2009
America will begin a new era. An era that our Founding Fathers
fought and died for over 230 years ago, that we haven't enjoyed
for decades.

Victory is the birth right of the Vampyre. On Jan. 20, 2009 all
Americans will prosper from my victory. Because this American
Vampyre is out for BLOOD! The BLOOD of our enemies!

My name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, and I am your next
President! I GUARANTEE IT!!!!!!

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